Stupid kettle. Why the hell do you choose today to not boil! Stupid coffee canister that emptied itself and didn’t remind me to buy more. Stupid kettle. Stupid coffee perculator. Stupid stupid caffeine I need so badly.
Stupid smoke alarm. Every time I open the oven it goes off. I spend that much time standing under it waving a dish cloth that whatever was cooking in the first place burns! Stupid loud fire alarm. Stupid beep, beep, beep, Dawn-is-cooking-again alarm, jeebus I'm only boiling water!
Stupid thirty-something brain. If you don’t behave and start absorbing all this material I’m reading for my exams the way you used to, I swear I will stab you with a Q-tip! Stupid, stupid week and a half of finals.
Stupid underwire bras. Stupid heavy boobs don’t stand at attention like those of the perky 20 something year olds I go to school with. Wires going everywhere, digging into my sides. Need extra bounce control, extra support and then the stupid things, they’re hitting me in the chin. Stupid contraption. Stupid boobs.
Stupid dog. Won’t eat her own food, stands at by the table looking up at you with those giant pug eyeballs and the please, please look on her face. The second you lay down your snack to answer the phone, she jumps up on the couch and slobbers all over it. Stupid drooled on chocolate covered peanut butter pretzels, I want to eat you anyways.
Stupid long weekend. Had to fall smack in the middle of week and a half stupid exam schedule, had to fall right into Birthday week, so I can’t properly enjoy you and no one is around to go to Kiddo’s birthday party. Stupid brats, who don’t know how to RSVP.
Stupid post. Don’t even got a real ending cause I need to go fan the smoke alarm, stab my brain with a Q-tip, re-read my pathophys notes for the sixteenth time, remove my bra, grab another handful of chocolate peanut butter pretzels and finish boiling that pot of water to make instant coffee.