Monday, July 16, 2012

please take your seats and turn off your cell phone...

I've been asked to be the master of ceremonies at my sister's wedding on August 3rd. It's not the first time I have been asked to MC, (I did it for another sister 5 years ago) and its not the second time I wrote up a "script" for it (husband has also MC'd in the past with my help).

I have a few ideas I'm working on, the first being advice for the new couple...

For the bride:
Don’t let him plan your summer vacation, unless you really like bar-b-qing in your back yard.

If you ask his opinion on something and he says “I don’t know” or “I don’t care” it really means that he does not know or does not care.

Let him pretend he’s in charge, it will take him 4 or 5 years to realize the difference and by then it will be too late.

For the groom:
There is no right answer to “do this make me look fat?” if she thought it looked ok, she wouldn’t be asking.

If you go shopping together and she leaves you alone in the bra and underwear section, do not browse.

The second being the shoe game, where you sit the bride and groom back to back, and ask them to remove their shoes, then ask a series of questions that answer by holding up the shoe of the person who best fits the answer...

Who is up first in the morning?
Who takes longer to get ready?
Who apologizes first after an argument?
Who said "i love you" first?
Who mentioned marriage first?
Who makes all the decisions?

So, I'm looking for more advice... wedding advice that it. If you could offer up 1 piece of marriage gold to the new couple, what would it be?

If you have any great jokes or 1 liners, I'll take those too!


  1. For the groom - when she starts telling you about a problem, she does NOT want an answer! Just shut up and listen.

  2. Get the bride & groom to stand up, ask the bride to put her hand out straight, then ask the groom to put his hand out straight, just slightly above the tell everyone to take a good look because this is the last time the groom will have the "upper hand"! My nephew did this at my niece's wedding a few years was a great hit!!!

    I'm sure you will do a fabulous job.

  3. "Let him pretend he’s in charge, it will take him 4 or 5 years to realize the difference and by then it will be too late."

    That's some seriously good advice haha, honestly I think you're going to do excellent Bay Girl, best of luck for the wedding too, make sure to have fun even though you're going to be busy.

  4. Those are pretty funny!!! I haven't attended many weddings or given any toasts so I don't have much to offer advice-wise, other than compromise and communication being the key to a successful marriage, and never taking each other for granted. There are lots of great love and marriage quotes and stuff on Pinterest that are both sweet and funny, you might try checking that out.

  5. I ended the toast at my brother's wedding with the "happy wife means happy life"

  6. DON'T DO IT .... that's all I got!

  7. Sounds like a fun wedding, with you in charge ;-)
    Remind them to laugh with each other, and not at each other. And I like Alex's advice - so true!!!

  8. My husband's grandma told us, "Never go to bed angry." That has always stuck with me. Unfortunately, my husband failed to listen to his grandmother.

  9. "Isn't it wonderful when two people that are perfect for each other, meet, fall in love and marry? (pause) Unfortunately, that isn't the case here today, but hopefully, these two will find their way..."
    This may not be considered very funny in some venues, but the one time I heard it at a weeking, the entire place cracked up!