Monday, November 19, 2012

Dawn of the walking dead

Before I have my morning happy juice, I can easily be mistaken for a walker.  I stomp around the house with bits of leftover drool hanging from the corners of my mouth, balls of yellow sleep threatening to glue my eyes shut, hair uncombed and wildly knotted, unable to communicate in anything other than a string of unintelligible groans.

The pfft, shhh, splatt of caffeine sloshing down into my mug and the bitter aroma of the black liquid slowly beckon me back to humanity.  I know enough to slap two slices of bread into the toaster and push them down.

Slurppp...

The hot black liquid sloshes over my tongue, jolting my heart back to its normal rhythm.  The smell of slightly burnt toast permeates the air.  Still sluggish, I clumsily slather on the last of the homemade cherry jam and hoist it towards my mouth.

Chomp...

Splat!!!

Ahhhh....



All eyes are on the prize!  In one corner weighing in at 22.5 pounds Tina the Bean.   In the other corner lights flashing, Robot Vacuum.  Rounding off the competition is 1/2 zombie.   The tension is mounting, its going to be a tight race.

   
The winner is..... ME!  Zombie or not, its the LAST of the homemade cherry jam!  I'm not above eating floor toast.

  

14 comments:

  1. Five second rule!
    Good to see you again, Baygirl.

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    1. thanks for snapping me back to reality! I didn't know I was gone :)

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  2. ROTFLMAO!!!! Nice!!! My mom, who grew up during the Great Depression when NO food was wasted, dropped or not, always said, 'kiss it up to God!' before eating dropped food.

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    1. kiss it up to God - never heard that before

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  3. I'm exactly the same as you Bay Girl when it comes to waking up in the morning, I'm so lackadaisical and it takes me a long time to get ready, I'm with Alex too, only a fool breaks the five second rule!

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    1. in the mornings, I have a 5 minute rule :)

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  4. Great to see you....I would chomp down that toast too...especially with homemade cherry jam..and the last bit in the bottle is always the sweetest!!

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  5. If I'm the one eating it and it wasn't jam side down, it's a go. The only way it wouldn't get eaten is if it was for someone else.

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  6. That's good, my vaccum usually chokes on pennies. I doubt it can handle toast.

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  7. hey, you win, that's awesome! you're hilarious, girl!!

    new follower, hi!!

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  8. Hey,

    I *love* floor toast, too :)

    PS... I cancelled the second entry for AlexFest (yes it has an official nickname :)

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  9. Hahaha yeah, I'll eat floor toast or just about anything that falls on the floor. Wifey thinks its gross but I'll eat it.

    And thanks for signing up for the Ninjafest!

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  10. HAR!

    A Coffee Zombie; A perfect description for me also. To add to the similarity, no one gets between me and that first taste of brains...I mean coffee in the morning or heads roll.

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