Last night was a regular evening. I had just climbed off the hamster wheel and was guzzling a gallon of water when I staggered into the living room. Sitting in her usual spot, caccooned in a blanket, watching the comedy network while simultaneously texting and petting the dog was kiddo; grinning.
She looked happy.
As a teen if you asked me when I needed to be happy, I might have said something like new clothes, friends, a cool car and good marks. In my 20s maybe the reply would have been a smaller butt, a good job, true love and money in the bank. Now, in my 30s I can say that what I need to be happy is,I need to be myself.
Not some version of me that is watered down by fear or expectations; not what strangers want me to be. not like someone on TV or in trashy magazines, not with a perfect past or everyone's approval, not with ideal circumstances or full control of my life, not with things I don't have, not with a stress-free, care-free life, not with mountains of money, not in a state of constant happiness. Not with a perfect body. I am full or quirks and quarks; my right foot is a full size smaller than my left, my hair is peppered with grey, I am strangely susceptible to "brian freeze", I suffer from occasional short term memory loss, I have a strange fondness for Owls, I must finish a book once I start reading it, I routinely use quotes from books even if they are irrelevant, I have the attention span of a goldfish, I constantly worry about money, I mix by tea but not my coffee, I drink way to much wine, I don't know how to switch from the tv to the Wii, I love my kiddo more than anyone else in the world, I sometimes talk to myself out loud, I write lists for everything, I am happiest in my PJs, I love the smell of the woods during fall, I admore gummy bears, I have a quick temper, I don't forgive was easily as I should, I am obsessed with lululemon, I would do just about anything for my family, I have a potty mouth, I don't think before I speak, and sometimes I get confused if I said something out loud or just in my head. I am not perfect. I am myself. I am happy. So, now let me ask, WHAT DO YOU NEED TO BE HAPPY? (take as long as you need to think).
I'm a girl from around the bay. A runner, mother, daughter, sister, wife, an average run of the mill Newfoundlander with an overly active imagination.
I spend my days making mistakes and then trying to fix them before I get caught.
My life is random!