Where do all the socks go?

Why is that no matter how many socks I start out with, I always end up with less?

I have a bag full of mismatched socks in every color and size. There are frilly litte girl socks, scrunchy socks, colourful toe socks, soccer socks, black ones, white ones and red ones. I counted 23 odd ones this morning.

After a couple of months of hanging onto mismatched socks, most people give up and find some other use for them. Crafty type people will turn them into sock puppets or something equally as crafty. Non crafty types use them to dust or wax the car. And then, there' me, eternally optimistic that my missing socks will one day show up and be reunited with their mates.

Here I am sitting here on a beautiful 14 degree day, with 2 exams tommorrow, obsessing where they went. Why is it only 1 that get abduscted, not the pair? Is the divorce rate of socks really that high? Does one sock kill the other and bury the body? Does the washer have a secret compartment that only the really cool socks know about? Is there a sock monster living in my basement? Is someone borrowing them and just not returning them? Is there an alternate sock universe? Is there a sock heaven? If they get sucked into the vent, how come they don't blow out into the yard? Do my feet smell and the socks are running scared? Should I match them up with new mates and wear them anyway?



My prefrontal cortex seems to have an unhealthy absession with this today (I'm supposed to be studyin the brian for my physiology exam tommorrow). I asked kiddo to think up a trap, that will catch the sock monster, she rolled her eyes and told me there is no such thing as a sock monster.... so why do they keep disappearing?

My mind is in overdrive. I think if I make it through exam week, I will take the sewing machine out of its dusty hiding place, learn to use it, and make a sock monster or 23.