How to use the bathroom at school.

Ok boys, LISTEN UP, there are fewer of you then there women on the first floor of the school, that means if there a line up for the ladies room, I'm using the men's room, and well, here are a few tips...

You guys seem to have a “lack of accuracy” and your “aim” is off. Either lift the damn seat, or wipe the dribbles off the seat, pick one. (if you choose to lift the seat, please put it down when you are done.

Toilet paper and soap are two of the most used items in the washroom. One should only use as much toilet towels as one needs and then ensure that it is properly deposited into the garbage can, not dropped on the floor. Talking of soap, try letting the tap run for 2-5 seconds extra so that your soap bubbles actually go down the drain.

If you find that basic toilet necessities like paper paper and soap are finished, it is now your duty to inform the correct people. They will ensure supplies are immediately provided so the next person will not be left high and undry.

NEVER forget to flush the toilet after the use; I am not interested in what you ate for lunch.

One more thing... the washroom does have a fan, its that switch right next to the one that turns on the light, try using it once in a while.

how to embarass your preteen...

My family has always told me that I like to stir the pot, my mother said that I would argue with my toes if they would argue back, so when my 10 year old clinched her fists and gave me a look that would send chills through the hearts of the faint, I sang even louder!

My daughter is an only child and sometimes I feel that she's not getting the proper razzing. (Anyone with siblings, especially younger ones, knows what its like to be embarassed.) I feel its my responsibility to teach her how to laugh at herself.




DISCLAIMER: My daughter and I are very close, she goes everywhere with me, and always has. I know her limits, and what is acceptable, I would never do anything malicious, cruel or hurtful, she knows my intentions, I only want to make her laugh, and she also knows that I am not laughing AT her, but WITH her.


So a few things I do to keep my tween on her toes:

1)when she's placing her order at McDonald's, unexpectantly tickle her a little,to throw off the straight face
2)when driving her and her friends anywhere, turn up the radio and sing along to that Justin Beiber tune, just make sure you're off key
3)when crossing a crowded parking lot, spread your arms like an airplane and run around in circles
4)take her to a resturant that sings to you on your birthday, stand up and proudly sings along
5)use her family nickname when her friends come over (provided that nickname is not Stinky Pants or something of the like)
6)decidate a blog entry to the art of embarassing her
7)when dropping her off anywhere, ALWAYS insist on a hug or a kiss
8) when you're in the grocery store and a good song comes on, dance through the isles

Ok you get the idea. She doesn't always appreciate these things as they are happening, but I'm hoping she will look back on them as fond memories

Life is way to short not to laugh!

If you have anymore ideas, please post them below...