What do you need to be happy?

Last night was a regular evening.  I had just climbed off the hamster wheel and was guzzling a gallon of water when I staggered into the living room.  Sitting in her usual spot, caccooned in a blanket, watching the comedy network while simultaneously texting and petting the dog was kiddo; grinning.

She looked happy.  

As a teen if you asked me when I needed to be happy, I might have said something like new clothes, friends, a cool car and good marks.  In my 20s maybe the reply would have been a smaller butt, a good job, true love and money in the bank.  

Now, in my 30s I can say that what I need to be happy is, I need to be myself.

Not some version of me that is watered down by fear or expectations;  not what strangers want me to be.  not like someone on TV or in trashy magazines, not with a perfect past or everyone's approval, not with ideal circumstances or full control of my life, not with things I don't have, not with a stress-free, care-free life, not with mountains of money, not in a state of constant happiness.  Not with a perfect body.  

I am full or quirks and quarks; my right foot is a full size smaller than my left, my hair is peppered with grey, I am strangely susceptible to "brian freeze", I suffer from occasional short term memory loss, I have a strange fondness for Owls, I must finish a book once I start reading it, I routinely use quotes from books even if they are irrelevant, I have the attention span of a goldfish, I constantly worry about money, I mix by tea but not my coffee, I drink way to much wine, I don't know how to switch from the tv to the Wii, I love my kiddo more than anyone else in the world, I sometimes talk to myself out loud, I write lists for everything, I am happiest in my PJs, I love the smell of the woods during fall, I admore gummy bears, I have a quick temper, I don't forgive was easily as I should, I am obsessed with lululemon, I would do just about anything for my family, I have a potty mouth, I don't think before I speak, and sometimes I get confused if I said something out loud or just in my head.  I am not perfect.  

I am myself.  I am happy.

So, now let me ask, WHAT DO YOU NEED TO BE HAPPY? (take as long as you need to think).

This is the one where I make all kinds of excuses....

Holy crap, it’s been a while.  I have tons of excuses on why I haven't been blogging, I do… I MISS my blog, and  I know you all are on pins and needles for a new post (ha ha, how delusional am I?)

Anyway - the Cole's Notes version:

I am done the diet -(happy to have reached my goal); now its a lifestyle that includes running in snow and avoiding wheat at all cost.

I relocated my business, out of the hair salon to a cozy little rental space on my own.

The province encountered 'snowmageddan' with rolling blackouts that lasted nearly a week.

We had our family pictures taken.

The dog lost two more teeth.

Kiddo made honor roll for first semester.

I got 92.2 in anatomy, currently registered for 1 physiology and 2 nutrition courses.

Spent 5 days out home over the holidays and had to boot it back to complete office renovations and escape the weather.

Husband came in 2nd out of 2 in his Friday night drunken photo contest (I think there should be a vote recount).

I've slapped myself on the wrist and banged my head against the wall...  I'm pulling up my boots and getting back on track - enough with my real life taking over. :)

Back to Reality

I won't bore anyone with the details - but I had an AMAZING vacation!!!

Focusing on the little things,

eating breakfast with old friends,

checking out the sights,

laughing in the rain,

drinking around the world,

dancing in the street,

just smiling and waving.

Meeting (Gaston was the best character to meet)

and greeting

searching high and low.

Enjoying the scenery,

posing for pictures,

and making out in cars.

Acting like a kid,

tasting new things 

and riding fast rides.

Chilling on the beach,

checking out the wildlife

and enjoying each other's company!

12 people, no email or phone calls. 

Now back to life.

Kiddo's tour of the neighborhood

A neighborhood tour from a 13 year old perspective:

 Left

Right

Up

Down

I'm bored now- look at me.

BTW are we ever gonna have grass mom?

Y is for Youngster

Kiddo is gone on a music trip with her school concert band in St. John's.  Feeling nostalgic with the letter Y, I decided  to turn back time a little, and pull out her 2005 scrapbook letter....

Be strong.  Be intelligent. Smile.

Know that beauty has everything 

to do with how you  feel about yourself

and nothing to do with looks

or other people's opinions.

Never do anything just because everyone else is.

Always be true to yourself.

Expect the best from life and that's what you'll get.

Believe in magic and wish on stars.

Love and trust and be compassionate

Make faces.  Play in mud puddles.

Take bubble baths.

Turn off all the lights and watch lightening storms.

Dance, laugh, cry and sing when you want to.

Read everything you can get your hands on.

Stand up for what is right especially if you stand alone.

Don't allow yourself or people around you

to tolerate prejudices of any kind.

Don't be afraid to try something new.

Do somethimg daring at least once a week.

Run through snow drifts.  Spin in circles  and roll down hill

Pet puppies, hold kittens, and talk to babies.

Stay up to watch the sun rise.

Never apologize for being a woman

or for being yourself.

Never forget that I love you, no matter how far apart we are.

YOU WILL ALWAYS BE MY DAUGHTER.

That youngster of mine holds my heart in her hands - she makes me all smultzey!!  

Celebrate the small things, March 22 edition

I'm Celebrating the Small things again this week!  This week I'm celebrating kiddo's accomplishments - 87.9% average on her report card (YEAH) and her school concert band won Gold in the Kiwanis Music Festival (YEAH)

Last week I eluded to the possibility of the "S" word being just around the corner... today school was cancelled due to snow, so I'm celebrating another "S" word - sleep!  That extra 30 minutes is more than welcome.  

We survived!

7:30 am - wake up, stumble to the kitchen for a cup of coffee, make kiddo's hot chocolate, put the dog out, stagger into the shower... the lights dim just as I rinse the shampoo from my hair.  Darkness.

Crap.  Out of the shower.  Towel off.  Dress.  Refill my mug.  Wander in to wake kiddo.

Confusion sets in.

Outside our neighbor is snow blowing our driveway.  The lady across the street is getting into her car.  Are we the only house without power?!  No all the other houses are dark....  Is there school?

Unplug the cordless phone, plug in the rotary phone.  Close all the curtains and blinds, doors to rooms not in use.  Dine on cold cereal.

Noon - House is getting cold now.  What's in the fridge that doesn't need to be heated?

3:30 pm - Fire alarm sounds.  Lights flick on.  Without saying a word kiddo and I spring into action - fill both bathtubs with hot water, boil the kettle, make coffee, wash the dishes, huddle around the heater.

3:35 pm - Lights flick off again.  Wish I had put boiling water in thermos and filled hot water bottles.

7:45 pm - Lights come on for the second time.  Plug in all cordless devices that are nearing death, refill sink with hot water, and get that kettle on.

8:15 pm - Lights are gone again.  The rooms start to lose heat quicker now.  A friend has come to fight boredom, she bought a thermos of coffee with her!  Use remainder of laptop battery watching Happy Gilmore. Selfishly drain the thermos.  Play board game after board game, relighting candles.

12:12 am - Lights are back!  Brush teeth, tidy up, pile extra blankets on beds.  Sleep.

Snow-ma-geddan hit the Avalon Peninsula on Friday, leaving most of the Island without power.  Luckily we weren't hit with the snow in central, but did suffer the power loss.  1st thing we did Saturday morning - buy unscented candles and make a list of things we NEED to have on hand in case the power goes again.  Husband's flight landed a few hours later (he spent the week in Halifax and missed all the fun)

Christmas 1999

Kiddo was nearly 5 months old.  This is her first letter to Santa....

Dear Santa, this is my very first Christmas!  I haven't met you yet, but my mommy and daddy whisper really good things to me about you.  They tell me that if I write you a letter and try my very best to be good, that you will bring me presents.

I heard of this stuff called apple sauce if you could get me some of that, I'm sure I'd like it.  I'd also like a few new bibs and some pretty new dresses.

Please be good to all the other babies in the world, and to my Aunts Tara, Erin, Heather and Simone and my Uncle Stephen.

I hope this works.

Your new friend, Bria

___remember - tommorrow is day of the do over!

If you give a kid a camera

I walked into kiddo's room this morning, and sitting on her dresser was her camera.  I didn't want to snoop, but I am going with the assumption that it was laid on her dresser for me to find.  

So I turned it on and there are over 900 pictures!  I started to click through them.  The first 50 or so are pictures of every minute detail in her room (snoop prevention?), the next 100 are of the dog, 50 of the sky, a bunch of her friends... Then I get to these -

Roughly 20 pictures of her feet in various pairs of socks.  Is she trying to tell me something?!

what does it mean?

Husband and kiddo bought me this wine glass.  Are they sending me some sort of message??

A smile in the making

Kiddo go her braces put on Tuesday night - LOOK at those bedazzled chompers!

A letter to my daughter on her 13th birthday

Its official. Since 8:26pm on August 2nd, you are finally a teenager. The thought makes me feel old. I don’t think I’m ready! I can’t possibly be that old. I still have some growing up of my own to do.

In five short years you will set off into the crazy mad world, to college or university. It seems so close. There are still so many things you need to know, so many things I want to teach you, and too many things I’m afraid of you learning. I miss you already. It makes me sad to think of you growing up - I have envisioned your wedding a dozen times, in my mind I have held your baby.

You have been with me for so long, the deciding factor in every decision I make. Part of me wants to let you go a just a smidgen and watch you make your own decisions, but part of me wants you to be all mine forever. You no longer call me mommy. You shy away from my hugs and kisses. Occasionally I get an “I love you.”

Enjoy the little things my dolly, all too soon they will become the big things. Eat cheesecake, dance in the rain, sing out loud and surround yourself with people who love you. Find what you love and figure out how to get paid for doing it.

Have no regrets.

Never be afraid to step outside of your comfort zone, its OK if its a little scary. Always treat people how you want them to treat you. You are not better than other people and they are not better than you.

Remember that no matter where you are and what you do, I will always love you. I will always be your biggest fan.


All my love,
Mom


** I know its a little late, but I had this scheduled for the 2nd, but it didn't post. ** tommorrow I'll tell you all about the wedding!

Family, honor rolls and a 40 pound ice cube

Last weekend a lot happened in my family. My husband's uncle passed away, and my cousin was in a very serious motor vehicle accident in St. John's (she still remains in critical condition).

Kiddo finished exams on Tuesday and made the honor roll! I have no idea where the time went, she will be starting eighth grade in September.

Wednesday we headed into town to visit at the hospital and pick up my sister in law and drive her to St. Vincent's for the funeral.

St. Vincent's has no cell phone reception or wifi so we were pretty cut off for a few days. It did however give us a chance to reconnect with members of husband's family who live out of the provence, and to cross a few things off my summer bucket list.


Go whale watching - CHECK! We spent several hours sitting on the beach watching the whales, and even made friends with a couple of Swedish tourists who were there also.

Go on a random midnight walk - CHECK! Husband and I strolled back to the beach later the same night to hear the whales singing. (it was way too dark to take a picture)


Hang out with old friends - check! We had a wonderful evening at the Yellow Belly Brewery, where we sampled their different brews. (so I could cross off trying something new also)

Go to a pub - CHECK! After supper at the Yellow Belly we headed down on George Street to check out Middle Tickle who were playing at Shamrock City. (I didn't take any pictures inside the pub)


We also did a few things that wern't on my list....


We visited a mini village in St. Mary's.

We saw an ice berg in Ferryland

I got a 40 pound ice cube on the beach



I've gotten 4 novels on my reading list finished and I found out that I'm going to be a great-aunt!

Its been a busy week with its ups and downs.


Please keep my cousin in your thoughts and hope for a full recovery.

Should have seen this coming....

The past couple of months kiddo kept bringing up the same topic, and for the past few months that same topic has fallen on deaf ears.

This time last week, all that changed. She was heading off on her first overnight school trip. It was time.

Husband dropped into the store on his lunch break and made the purchase. We sat side by side anxiously awaiting her return from school. Together we walked her through all the ins and outs.

Sunday morning we said goodbye to our beautiful little girl.


A few hours later, my cell phone rings. "Mom, if you have any more questions, ask them now. I'm trying to have fun with my friends but you keep texting me."

That is what happens when you give your 12 year old a cell phone!

She only texts you when she wants something!!

Do you see what I see?

See anything wrong with this picture?


How about now?



That would be my cell phone. I misplaced it in a foggy coffee-deprived state this morning. The battery died. Despite several dozen trips to the pantry throughout the day and countless seconds of searching I could not find it! Kiddo waltzes into the pantry for 1 second and its staring out at her.

A letter to my daughter on her 12th birthday

Dear Bria,

Today you are twelve years old. The past twelve years that have flown by way too fast, leaving me in blur of firsts; your first tooth, your first steps, your first music recital, your first loose tooth, your first day of school... Each one of your firsts was a first for me too and each one holds a place in my heart.

I don’t know if there’s a way I can begin to explain how special these years have been to me, how special you are to me. I am proud to see you become the young lady you’re becoming, so proud to watch you grow. I am proud to be your mother.

You won’t always agree with every decision your dad and I make for you, but know that they are made with love, and only the best of intentions. Try to be patient with us and we’ll try to be patient with you. You’ve never been a tween before, and I’ve never been the parent of a tween before. I'm sure it will be an adventure for the both of us. (Daddy too)

Know that even when we disagree, we will always love you. That nothing you can do will ever change that.

As time goes on you will have to make your own choices. Some of those choices will be good, others will be bad, and the consequences of those choices may last for years. Your dad and I will be there to help you make choices whenever you need us.

When you do make a bad choice, remember we are always there for you. We won’t protect you from the consequences, but we will be there to help you handle them. We love you and will always be there for you, even when you may not want us there.

My wish for you this year is to have fun. Watch goofy movies and stay up until the wee hours at sleepovers, sing out loud to the radio and dance in front of the mirror, get the giggles and poke fun at yourself. Soak up everything that 12 has to offer, thirteen will be here soon enough.


I love you, Kiddo.

Happy Birthday to me

Friday is allowance day, and kiddo was overly adamant about getting paid on time. She got her allowance and off we went to the book store, her grinning from ear to ear, I thought nothing more of it.

Yesterday was my birthday, I awoke to a card filled with drawings of all the things we do together AND her allowance money!

Some times she just blows my mind!

10 important lessons I have to teach my kid

1. How to make Mom's coffee in the morning.

2. Be goofy and outrageous. It's fun, most people aren't watching anyway, and the ones who do are mostly just envious. Or constipated.

3. There's just something special about a handwritten note, a smile and a thank you that goes a long way.

4. Running on vinyl flooring in wool socks and sliding equals breaking something or trip to the hospital.

5. Green vegetables are your friends. (except broccoli which is pure evil)

6. How not to felt wool sweaters. (as soon as I figure it out)

7. I don't care if you write a tell-all book about me since I'm already blogging it. (nice threat though)

8. Leaving the front door open while the air conditioner is on means we won't be going on vacation this summer.

9. Butter is worth the fat.

10. There will always be people who are worse at (or better at) something than you are, don't rub it in, what matters is that you are trying.


what lessons do you want to pass on?

Can I have a refund please?

Just over a week ago, kiddo go it in her head that she needs her own money, to "buy stuff, just because". She came to husband and I with a proposition, she would make her bed, dump the recycling and fill the water jug daily in exchange for $5 a week. She even wrote up a contract for us to sign, and put in a clause - in the event of her needing extra cash she would do additional chores at pre-set amounts up to but not exceeding $20 a week.

Wash dishes - $1
Empty dishwasher - $1
Dump compost bin - $5 (because its gross)
Vacuum - $1 per room
Cook omelets - $1 each (its the only thing she can cook unassisted)
Carry clothes to laundry room - $1

With labour that cheap, how could I refuse? So I signed her contract.

She has been doing her chores, without reminding and marking them off her checklist. This morning, husband goes in to wake her and finds her sleeping on top of her covers wrapped in a spare blanket. Turns out the sneaky little bug hasn't been under her blankets in a week so she doesn't have to make the bed, she just used the spare blanket and tosses it in her closet when she wakes up!

When she gets home from school I'm asking for a refund!

Prehaps clearer instructions next time?

Background - I am on day three of a stupid detox diet, which means I am STARVING, and, I am paying extra close attention to every piece of fruit and starch husband and kiddo pop into their mouths.



This is the new Tim Horton's s'mores donut - chocolate donut, chocolate fondant, covered with mini marshmallows & graham crumbs (there many even be mini chocolate chips on this sucker, I'm not sure, I won't allow myself to be within biting distance.)

So back to where I was going with this....

Last night after supper, I sitting on the couch with my tea pretending to study. Err, minding my own business, when husband and kiddo bound into the room each chomping on one of the above donuts. My stomach lets out a roar that would scare when the bravest soul.

Girgle Giirgle Girgle.... I want a donut!

"Kiddo, could you please get mom something green to snack on." I ask.

Sensing the desperation in my voice, kiddo leans over me and lays her donut on the side table before spinning on her heels and bounding in to the kitchen, dog chasing at her heels. Leaving me sitting next to her s'morey temptation while watching husband unlatch his jaw and swallow his donut whole.

Kiddo returns in what feels like an hour. With a whole green pepper....

"What? Kiddo, a whole green pepper?"

"Well," she replies "this is green. You did ask for something green, and Bean thought it was a good idea."

"What do you mean, Bean thought it was a good idea?"

"Well, Tina Bean got excited when she saw it, and when I let her smell it, she kept licking it."

"Owwww... Did you wash it after the dog was finished licking it?"

She shrugs, husband laughs.

I throw the pepper back to her, "Wash this off an put it back in the fridge, my appetite is gone."

This is the point when I remember the unwashed supper dishes in the kitchen sink, take my now empty mug and head to the kitchen.

Kiddo is standing in front of the sink, dog by her feet, washing the pepper IN the sink, WITH the dirty dishes! gaww

"Kid, what are you doing?"

She rolls her eyes, "Washing the pepper like you told me too."