Its all my fault!

Late at night, after everyone goes to bed, I steal kiddo's homework and poke it in strange places, and while I'm at it I go through her dresser and remove all her pants with elastic waists forcing her to wear jeans. Then, I take one of her shoes and drop it in the middle of the steps before throwing its mate in the downstairs living room, behind the futon.

Occasionally when I have time, I scatter her drawings on the kitchen floor and walk over them a few times to get them all dirty. Then after kicking them around for a few minutes, I crumple them into tight balls and throw them up on top of the curtain rods. When I'm super bored, I take her permission slips and slather them in peanut butter before placing them in the dog's bowl. If Tina doesn't make a complete meal out of the really hard math sheets, I bury them deep in the recycling bin, right next to husband's financial spread sheet, all the household bills and wads of $1000 bills.

AND THEN, I make her go to school while Grandma is visiting!

I do this because I want to ruin her life and make her stay in school during recess.