coco you're making me nuts

After clinic tonight I had to stop into the grocery store for some milk, and I decided I deserved a treat. So off to the produce section I went(I hate dieting!) It came down to dragon fruit, lychee, coconut or star fruit~ those fruit that are tasty but for some reason or other I never purchase. After much deliberation, coconut was the winner.

I get my coconut home and realize I have NO idea how to open it. On TV the just kind of hack the tops off with a machete, but I don't own a machete. I own a hammer and a screwdriver. See where this is going?

Screwdriver goes into one of the coconut's 'eyes', hammer wields up to knock the screwdriver. Swing. ^&*%#@! Hammer comes down on my thumb, coconut onto the floor, husband laughs.

Now, I recall the reason I don't buy coconuts on a regular basis. When the throbbing calms down and the cussing subsides I'm going after Mr Coconut with a saw, or a stick of dynamite! (unless husband cracks it first)

What's that in my eye?

The last time my husband went shopping he went for 2 items and came back with 2 bags. I know I shouldn't complain, because well he goes shopping occasionally. Last night he was out, and decided I needed a treat to help me study for my OSCE. He decided to buy me rice cakes to stop me from eating all the junk I really want to be eating when I'm studying.




I don't know who to blame, husband for thinking of me and buying me the rice caked treats? Stress for pushing me to eat the whole bag? Me for eating the whole bag. OR Karma.

Did you know that when you tip the bag over to dump all the small crushed up pieces into your mouth that salt and vinegar-flavored rice dust falls in your eyes and really hurts?

So if ever you see me en route to an exam of sorts, and I’ve got rice cake remnants in my eye-lashes...keep on walking! I don’t need any comments from you...I'm craving sugar, I can’t see and I probably won't poop for a week from all the rice.

--For the record, I had 3 minutes left on my OSCE and was so focused on doing the correct special tests, I skipped the entire neurological testing section (with my reflex hammer sitting in my line of sight, next to my patient) So the rice cakes did nothing to help!