Monday, May 23, 2011

Prehaps clearer instructions next time?

Background - I am on day three of a stupid detox diet, which means I am STARVING, and, I am paying extra close attention to every piece of fruit and starch husband and kiddo pop into their mouths.

This is the new Tim Horton's s'mores donut - chocolate donut, chocolate fondant, covered with mini marshmallows & graham crumbs (there many even be mini chocolate chips on this sucker, I'm not sure, I won't allow myself to be within biting distance.)

So back to where I was going with this....

Last night after supper, I sitting on the couch with my tea pretending to study. Err, minding my own business, when husband and kiddo bound into the room each chomping on one of the above donuts. My stomach lets out a roar that would scare when the bravest soul.

Girgle Giirgle Girgle.... I want a donut!

"Kiddo, could you please get mom something green to snack on." I ask.

Sensing the desperation in my voice, kiddo leans over me and lays her donut on the side table before spinning on her heels and bounding in to the kitchen, dog chasing at her heels. Leaving me sitting next to her s'morey temptation while watching husband unlatch his jaw and swallow his donut whole.

Kiddo returns in what feels like an hour. With a whole green pepper....

"What? Kiddo, a whole green pepper?"

"Well," she replies "this is green. You did ask for something green, and Bean thought it was a good idea."

"What do you mean, Bean thought it was a good idea?"

"Well, Tina Bean got excited when she saw it, and when I let her smell it, she kept licking it."

"Owwww... Did you wash it after the dog was finished licking it?"

She shrugs, husband laughs.

I throw the pepper back to her, "Wash this off an put it back in the fridge, my appetite is gone."

This is the point when I remember the unwashed supper dishes in the kitchen sink, take my now empty mug and head to the kitchen.

Kiddo is standing in front of the sink, dog by her feet, washing the pepper IN the sink, WITH the dirty dishes! gaww

"Kid, what are you doing?"

She rolls her eyes, "Washing the pepper like you told me too."


  1. You have much more will power than me. I almost took a bite out of my screen upon seeing that. There is no way I could have resisted if it were sitting within biting distance.

  2. What a great kid to do what her mom asked. I'll bet you won't ask again will you? And that, my dear, was the plan all along.

  3. I do a detox diet sometimes - the author is Haas I think - there are no donuts for sure but I'm never hungry - too many bowls of steamed vegetables (luckily, I don't have a dog). I choose to add one protein like beans or fish for dinner so I don't turn evil. good luck!

  4. I admire your willpower! If that was anywhere close to me, it would be gone!

  5. Wow, I've never done a detox diet but, man, I can't count the number of times I've experienced that same total unawareness of how close to death my offspring are treading at any given moment.

    Good thing God gave you a sense of humour, eh?

    You are not alone, m'dear...

  6. OMG...thanks for the giggles! I needed that today!

  7. Hey pepper tells us to do many things. haha

  8. Haha, she was all prepared to let you have a dog cleaned pepper. That's awesomely wrong.

  9. They ate those donuts in front of you? I think you had a legitimate case with Adult Protective Services.

  10. Does a defibrillator come with every donut?

  11. Dog germs make you stronger. Donuts make me weak....

  12. Hello. I hopped over from Jo's blog.

    Awesome post! Now I want a donut, or two.

  13. Ha ha! That doughnut looks superb.:D

  14. Kids!

    You'll pull through...I only do my detox fasts when I'm alone at home for a few days, or there would be WW III or something with my family :)

  15. well, at least Bean washed the pepper before giving it to you :))))

  16. @ Dafeenah after starving for 3 days I didn't want to have to start over

    @ Alex I shudder to think what else she let the dog lick

    @ mybabyjohn you're proablly right, when did she get so smart?

    @ Tonja I haven't seen the Haas one, I'll look for it if I ever do this again

    @ Ms A will power, nil power - its all about not wanting to restart

    @ lmoe offspring just don't pay things the same attention

    @ Karen desserts are evil, were they great? I bet they were great

    @ Marlene giggle away

    @ Copyboy could you get pepper to make her clean her room?

    @ TS awsomely gross - the dog was licking her arse not 5 minutes before that pepper

    @ Al defibulater comes with each dozen you purchase

    @ Better that's will power, i have to go drive through so I can't even see them

    @ Betty I'll keep that in mind next time

    @ David thanks for stopping by!

    @ Emily it smelled better than it looked

    @ damyantiwrites if I ever do another detox, I'll make sure there is no one within tempting limits

    @ Dez I can't blame the dog :)

  17. I facepalmed multiple times while reading this. >.<

    Good luck with the diet!
    Do you have a Whole Foods in your area?
    They have lots of super healthy food that actually tastes good. :D

  18. I must go to Canada. I need a Tim Horton's fix.

  19. Hi, I am a new follower. :) I am a fellow Newfie born and raised on the Burin Pennisula. I have been living back in NL for about 7 years now. Home sickness got the best of me.
    Good for you for sticking to the detox, you have ALOT of will power. I seen those new donuts at tim's the other day, but the bottom looks like the yucky bottom so I haven't tried them.
    Make sure you remember to always rinse your peppers lol. At least she was trying. :)
    Maybe come follow me as well?
    Melissa D

  20. You are a brave and stubborn woman. Best of luck.

  21. LOL! What a funny episode. ALthough, I'm sure at the time, it was far from funny for you. :D Good luck on that diet. Just don't starve to death, okay?

  22. LMAO Washing the pepper in the sink with dirty dishes. Yep, I could see one of my nephews doing the very same thing. I applaud you on the detox diet and pray you survive without going homicidal. I, on the other hand, would in jail, licking the chocolate from my hands, arrested for killing someone for their candy bar.

  23. Oh, this is so funny. Thanks for the laughs, even though I'm sorry you are starving!! What a great story. And, now I'm dying for one of those donuts. :)

    I admire your willpower, good for you!

  24. You must be made of granite! I have VERY little will power when it comes to eating. Especially if it's something that looks like that donut!

  25. OMG! I love Tim Horton's! I moved back to the USA and miss their sandwichs above all else. Also the prices... those were amazing!