Back to Reality

I won't bore anyone with the details - but I had an AMAZING vacation!!!

Focusing on the little things,

eating breakfast with old friends,

checking out the sights,

laughing in the rain,

drinking around the world,

dancing in the street,

just smiling and waving.

Meeting (Gaston was the best character to meet)

and greeting

searching high and low.

Enjoying the scenery,

posing for pictures,

and making out in cars.

Acting like a kid,

tasting new things 

and riding fast rides.

Chilling on the beach,

checking out the wildlife

and enjoying each other's company!

12 people, no email or phone calls. 

Now back to life.

Another Valentine

'Another Valentine' by Wendy Cope

Today we are obliged to be romantic

And think of yet another valentine.

We know the rules and we are both pedantic;

Today's the day we have to be romantic.

Our love is old and sure, not new and frantic.

You know I'm yours and I know you are mine.

And saying that has made me feel romantic,

My dearest love, my darling valentine.

Dear Vincent,  you are driving me to the airport today, and we're not doing anything for Valentines Day.  So I thought I'd do something sappy and romantic for you anyway.... so this bit below, is for you!

I love how we are together.  I love that we always find things to talk about.  I love that we still make each other laugh.  I love how you understand me when I have random, out of the blue thoughts.  I love that you know how to make my tea better than I can make it myself.  I love that you know just when to make me a cup of tea.  I love how very much Bria loves you, and you love her.  I love your cuddles.  I love it when you let me read in silence.  I love it when you record my shows for me when I fall asleep early.  I love it when you kiss me on the forehead, for no reason other than that you want to.  I love it when you cook breakfast.  I love that you let me make mistakes and never say I told you so.  I love that you believe in me.  I love that we enjoy so many of the same things.  I love when you make supper. I love the odd sense of humor we share.  I love the warmth of your embrace.  I love waking up in your arms.  I love that you love me.

Most of all, I love you. Happy Valentine's Day.

what does it mean?

Husband and kiddo bought me this wine glass.  Are they sending me some sort of message??

What is a dad?

dad /dad/
Noun: One's father.
Synonyms: daddy - papa - father - pa - pop - poppa






A Dad is a person
who is loving and kind,
And often he knows
what you have on your mind.

He's someone who listens,
suggests, and defends
A dad can be one
of your very best friends!

He's proud of your triumphs
but when things go wrong
A dad can be patient
and helpful and strong.

In all that you do,
a dad's love plays a part
There's always a place for him
deep in your heart.

And each year that passes
You're even more glad,
More grateful and proud
just to call him your dad!


- Author Unknown

Happy Father's Day Dad. I love you, and I'm still trying to figure out how many hot dogs it takes to cook a lasagna :)

Happy Father's Day Husband (Vincent). You are doing an amazing job with Kiddo, I love you very much :)

Happy Father's Day to all the dads - daddys - papas - fathers - pas - pops - poppas - poppys - and fadders out there!

Is it summer yet?

I'm starting to get really sick of all the snow.

So... I'm turning my attentions to warmer climates...



by growing an avocado


AND a pineapple!

wish me luck :)


(Husband is already taking bets on how long they will last.)

There once was a man from Nantucket....

There once was a man from Nantucket,
Who used the toothpaste and didn't shut it.
He felt like a twit,
When his wife pitched a fit.
That poor old man from Nantucket.


- Dear husband, please close the stupid flip cap next time!

What do they have in common?

Look carefully at the following characters....


Captain Hook - 1 handed pirate antagonist of Peter Pan.


Ned Flanders - Sickenly cheerful fundamentalist Christian, next door neighbor to Homer Simpson.


Sgt. Floyd Pepper - Bass player in the Muppet band 'Dr Teeth and the Electric Mayhem', a laid back character based on Pink Floyd and the Beatle's Sgt. Pepper.


Yosemite Sam - More moustache than face, longer than his arms, the only thing bigger would be his cowboy hat.


Mr Potato Head - the most popular vegetable toy in the world.


Husband


What do they all have in common? Lip Sweaters!

This is husband's second go at Movember, the month-long celebration of the moustache, highlighting men’s health issues - specifically prostate and testicular cancer. A Mo Bro starts Movember – the month formerly known as November – clean shaven, and grows a moustache all month long, garnering support from friends and family.

I can't wait until shaving day!

20 Questions with a Cashier

I know, I know.. bad BAD baygirl! This whole moving this is a pain in the arse (I would say a good pain, but honestly is there a such thing as a good pain in the arse? Mind you there are people into some freaky stuff...)

Anyway, husband and I are getting the house ready to be listed, and the chore list seems to be never ending, the roof needed new shingles after that nasty wind storm a few months ago, the shower needed to be re-grouted, the baseboards needed to be painted and replaced, the ceilings needed to be painted, the garage cleaned, the gardens weeded, the carpets shampooed, and all that painting... ugh

For each "little" task we complete comes another trip to the do-it-yourself store, and a round of 20 questions with the cashier...

{insert cute cheery tone here} “Hi…do you have one of our new INCENTIVE cards yet? It will only take a minute to sign you up, so you can start receiving special discounts; which includes 2.5% off anything you purchase today. It will also entitle you to free gifts and good karma throughout the entire year.”

"It will only take a second….ready?"

1) Name?
2) Mailing address?
3) Email?
4) Home phone?
5) Work phone?
6) Cell phone?
7) Fax number?
8) Social insurance number?
9) Banking PIN number?
10) Blood type?
11) Can you say the alphabet backwards while standing on your head?
12) Would you like us to send you samples in the mail?
13) When would be the best time to call and inconvenience you?
14) Do you collect frequent flyer miles?
15) Do you own or rent your home?
16) Who would you like to be in your next life?
17) How much money do you make?
18) What size shoe do you wear?
19) Would you also be interested in opening a store credit card with a 0% interest rate for the year; after which will only be increased to 49.8%?
20) And finally...have you ever wanted to slap someone?"

Note to self: if I ever get married a second time, pick someone handy or rich so I don't have to do this fix-up stuff again.

The real estate agent comes tomorrow, I'm hoping for a quick sale!

2 points for husband

Husband and I went for a drive yesterday (an excuse to get out of the house and crank the air conditioner). I don’t know how it started, but somehow the following conversation happened:

Me: You’re lucky to have me.
Husband: Oh yeah, why now?
Me: Well, no one else would put up with you.
Husband: Really? I thought that was you?
Me: Nope! I'm perfect, I could have my choice of whoever I want.
Husband: So, what you're saying is that when we first met, I desperate but you weren't?
Me: Yep! that’s what I’m saying. No one else wanted you.
Husband: Well that explains everything!

Kiddo bust out laughing in the back seat, "2 points for Dad!"

Guess it backfired just a little.

Prehaps clearer instructions next time?

Background - I am on day three of a stupid detox diet, which means I am STARVING, and, I am paying extra close attention to every piece of fruit and starch husband and kiddo pop into their mouths.



This is the new Tim Horton's s'mores donut - chocolate donut, chocolate fondant, covered with mini marshmallows & graham crumbs (there many even be mini chocolate chips on this sucker, I'm not sure, I won't allow myself to be within biting distance.)

So back to where I was going with this....

Last night after supper, I sitting on the couch with my tea pretending to study. Err, minding my own business, when husband and kiddo bound into the room each chomping on one of the above donuts. My stomach lets out a roar that would scare when the bravest soul.

Girgle Giirgle Girgle.... I want a donut!

"Kiddo, could you please get mom something green to snack on." I ask.

Sensing the desperation in my voice, kiddo leans over me and lays her donut on the side table before spinning on her heels and bounding in to the kitchen, dog chasing at her heels. Leaving me sitting next to her s'morey temptation while watching husband unlatch his jaw and swallow his donut whole.

Kiddo returns in what feels like an hour. With a whole green pepper....

"What? Kiddo, a whole green pepper?"

"Well," she replies "this is green. You did ask for something green, and Bean thought it was a good idea."

"What do you mean, Bean thought it was a good idea?"

"Well, Tina Bean got excited when she saw it, and when I let her smell it, she kept licking it."

"Owwww... Did you wash it after the dog was finished licking it?"

She shrugs, husband laughs.

I throw the pepper back to her, "Wash this off an put it back in the fridge, my appetite is gone."

This is the point when I remember the unwashed supper dishes in the kitchen sink, take my now empty mug and head to the kitchen.

Kiddo is standing in front of the sink, dog by her feet, washing the pepper IN the sink, WITH the dirty dishes! gaww

"Kid, what are you doing?"

She rolls her eyes, "Washing the pepper like you told me too."

too much tv?

Its basketball season, which means, that I have the bed pretty much to myself. Husband use excuses like "I'll be up to bed when I hear your school books hitting the floor", or "I'll let you get comfortable for a while, and then I'll be up" or something vaguely along those lines. I'm not complaining or anything, its nice to lie across the bed every once in a while without wandering hands.

So at some point in the early morning, I woke up to a violent kick in the shin.

Husband opened his eyes and asked if he just kicked my me. "Uhhh, YEAH, and quite hard too!" He apologized and rolled back over. Just as he was drifting off to sleep I hear him mumble:

"UGH! Lebron was holding my leg so I wouldn't get the shot. BUT, he started to tickle me, so I had to kick him off!!!"

Can't argue with the most ticklish man I know when he's 3/4 asleep, but hon, NO basketball tonight!

What died in here?!

The past few days it has gotten warmer again, the sun is shining, jackets have been replaced by hoodies, the snow is gone and the car hasn't been sleeping in the garage. This morning as I climbed into my car, I was assaulted by an unusual stench. My first thought was that husband had let one go, so I attempted to be a good wife, and didn't say anything, just nonchalantly rolled down the window and dropped him off at work.

With husband out of the vehicle, I rolled the windows back up and popped onto the highway. Well, b'y the jumpins, that smell was still there.

I hate the windows down on the highway, so it made for a rather interesting 25 minute commute. The whole while trying to figure out what had climbed in my car and passed away, not breath and watch where I was going at the same time.

I pulled into the school parking lot and debated if I really wanted to know what was lurking under the seats. I mustered up the courage to look, half expecting a green sandwich, instead I got..

A COFFEE MUG! Yep, one of my missing travel mugs. Seems 'someone' accidentally left something in the mug and hide it under the seat to grow mold. It was so vile that the lid was stuck on.

Now I'm not going to point fingers, or lay blame (because I'm trying to be a better wife for lent) but kiddo doesn't drink coffee, and I don't lose things.

Are you trying to tell me something here?

I woke up this morning to this email form husband...from what I gather he's a bit upset that we ran out of toaster strudel, but I can't be 100% sure.

An Ode to Toaster Strudel

I woke up today the same as most mornings, to the deafening beep of the alarm clock you for some reason don't hear. I lay there and debated the tasks ahead of me, hating the idea shovelling of the snow that fell yesterday, and another coal inspection. I stumbled out of bed, and crawled blindly into the kitchen. When I got there and saw that the coffee pot was not pre-set I realized that, in fact, there IS a god, and that he wanted to offer me nothing but sadness for the remainder of the day. That is, until I opened the freezer and saw that beautiful orange box with the little dough boy on the front. Ummm, Toaster Strudel. Quick, warm, easy, wonderfully tasty pastry embracing bright red jam. If that's not enough, these breakfast sweets have a self administerable frosting topping, as if to say "Yes, I'm THAT delicious, but YOU can make me even better."

I reached up into the freezer to claim said Strudel as my own, and felt nothing. My hand desperately reached into the bottom of the box. "Perhaps they fell out of the box", I repeated to myself. After nearly 5 minutes of vacant searching I abandoned my quest and turned to the Cheerios. Apparently, the box had been left as a cruel trick to lure me into thinking that life had purpose.

I will miss you Toaster Strudel, even though I never met you.

P.S. kiddo had Cheerios too.

P.P.S. I might be home for lunch.

Conspirancy afoot?

Passing by kiddo's doorway last night I hear "Its mom! Abort! Abort!"

I'm not sure I want to know what's up, so I'm choosing to believe that her and husband are planning something good for March break as a surprise for me...

I'll try to foget how much you annoy me....

So after we dropped kiddo off at book club last night, husband and I hit the mall. We were sitting in the food court having a cup of Timmie's when out of the corner of my eye I spot him.... 6 feet tall, 120 pounds, pristine mullet combed to perfection, sleeves of his yellowish white shirt rolled up over a pack of smokes, cut off cowboy boots and chips missing from both front teeth (think real life Joe Dirt) I divert my eyes and try not to giggle, when husband leans over... "Next time I annoy you, remember what's out there."

I'll try and forget how much you annoy me. For a while.

Stand back he's all mine, Heart Day edition

Husband and I agree we weren’t going to do a whole big thing for Valentine’s Day this year; because we have a lot of other things going on; I had clinic until 8:00 and a pathophysiology test this morning.

I woke up yesterday morning and figured a card or a hand scrawled note would be waiting. I mean, c’mon, he bought kiddo a heart shaped box of chocolates, and book light. Flowers would be nice but they die quickly, chocolates would’ve been great, booze is always a winner or cinnamon hearts or maybe some conversation hearts. (I love conversation hearts, I lick off letters here and there and make new words, I mean its not everyday you get candy that talks to you.)

I had a card all ready to give him, but you can be damned sure I wasn't giving him anything until I got my card!

Well, I went off to school, and I waited thinking any minute I'd get a sappy email or a text. And I waited, or maybe he'd book himself in for my 7 pm appointment. And I waited.

I got a facebook notification that he had written on my wall. "Happy heart day". I was so glad I didn't give him that stinking card.

I got home last night, still no card.

So I pick him up today after work, he bounds into the car grinning from ear to ear, and thrusts a card at me, written inside.. "You said you didn't want to do anything for Valentine's day this year, so I was waiting for 1/2 price chocolate day, then I was going to buy you chocolate body paint, but at the last second, I didn't think you'd like it. Happy Not Valentine's Day."

Now that’s romance!

Next year I want a dozen roses, a bottle of wine and some chocolates.

this round goes to husband...

Husband has a strange affinity for ju jubes. This scene takes place last night, I'm sprawled out on the upstairs couch studying for tommorrow's OSCE, when he wanders into the room carrying a bulk barn bag...

Husband: what colour

Me: orange, no green, maybe one of each.. just surprise me. (he passes me a handful) (me chomping on a red) ugh, fishies are WAY better

Husband: nope, swedish fish suck. Jubes are cheaper, and they're rubbery so you have to chew them more which means they last longer, and they're big, so you can only eat them one at a time, and..

Me: exactly, they're rubbery, do you have any idea how many filling I got?

Husband: that’s because you’re defective

How I does it

Back to the grinding wheel. Today marks the first day of my last semester of school. 13 more weeks of class, exams and comprehensives and then my board certification. I can almost taste it. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I can.... just imagine how hard the next 13 weeks are going to be, UGH!

Let's not dwell on that shall we. Let's look at the positive...

Its the first Monday of 2011, and by week's end that ugly avocado green toilet in the downstairs bathroom will be history! Husband doesn't know it yet, but during his week off work, he gets to install the new one. I bought it yesterday, and hid the receipt so he can't return it. (Ok, so its not the most grown up way to get a new bathroom, but it works. Don't judge me.)

Gingerbread near fail

Before I begin this tale, I would like to take an opportunity to state that I don't think I have done anything as frustrating. EVER.

I open the box and am immediately hit with the fact that its not a pre-built house. But, I think, how hard can it be, kids make these things at school.

Step 1 mix icing. Ok, that should be pretty simple. Nope! I added the exact amount the stupid instructions called for, it was the consistency of toothpaste. Just like toothpaste it dripped all over the place. This toothpaste did very little for the walls and they kept falling apart. Rather than tossing the whole thing in the garbage, I skipped a bunch of steps and iced the roof pieces. Then decided to take a break.

I guess taking a break is not allowed in gingerbread land, because by the time I went back into the kitchen, that stupid toothpaste icing had turned into cement. {insert a bunch of swearing here}

Husband heard the cursing, saw the mess and kicked me out of the kitchen.

Don't know how he did it, but about 20 minutes later, the house is done and kiddo is smiling!



Moral of the story... if you're making gingerbread house, make sure its pre-built, and don't let me touch it.

WARNING: this post may offend some

Yesterday marked my 11th wedding anniversary. It was also my first exam of this semester. I won't bore you with the whole story of meeting husband (he used to date my cousin) or how I started dating husband (after one to many beers) or even how we got married (on a cold friday night, in a court house by a justice of the peace when I was 22) or even how we have tried to kill each other over the years (and failed obviously).

Instead, I would like to share this.... a note that was attached to pink roses on my kitchen couter after my exam yesterday. {Warning, here comes the schmaltz}


I share my fries with you when you're finished all yours and still want more.
I am never rude to your tummy when I hear it gurgle and growl, instead, I bend down and reply respectfully.
I eat your pepperoni when we order pizza.
I kiss away the papercuts, the door-slammed fingers and the counter-bumped hips.
I try my hardest not to get annoyed when you whisper questions and comments during movies.
I am the big spoon.
I let you win arguments. Sometimes, other times I do not.
I push when you when you need to be pushed and tease you when you don't.
I stand with you in all our parenting decisions, even the hard ones.
I send you random texts and buy you silly gifts, just because I want to.
I check your tire pressure, and remind you to put gas in the car.
I hold your hand.
I love you.

I will always love you.