How many hot dogs does it take to....?

Growing up I lived in a home with my mother, father, three sisters, my grandmother and my grandfather.  Essentially, I had two sets of parents.  Which had some really, really, really good points.  That is, until I moved out of the house and realized that I had NO idea how to do any domestic chores - cooking, cleaning, laundry was always done for me.

The first time I cooked a turkey, I must have called home at least 3 times for help, and still managed to cook that bird with the bag of bits still inside it.    My raisin buns will never taste like my grandmother's.  My mom has a solution for just about everything.

About a year ago, I got a phone call from my father that went a little something like this:

me: "hello"
dad: "how many hot dogs does it take to make lasagna?"
me: ".????????"  stunned silence
dad: "how many hot dogs does it take to make lasagna?"
me "??????????" stunned silence


Translation:  my mother was visiting my sister in town, my father was hungry and home alone.  What he really wanted to know was how many times did me need to push the 'hot dog' button on the microwave in order to thaw and heat the frozen lasagna my mother had left for him.

I will never forgot how gobsmacked I was when I answered the phone.  Love you dad.



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Got our moose by'

What the heck does 500 pounds n 55 rabbits mean? Its me fadder's way of stating he got his moose, and a bunch of rabbits to boot.

Poor thing didn't see it comming.

To read the whole story, click here.

this is how we does it...

I just got off the phone with me fadder, this is our actual conversation from start to finish. Anyone want to translate?

phone--ring ring
me: 'lo?
fadder: How ya gettin on?
me: Good. Ya get arn'?
fadder: 500 pound, n' 55 rabbits.
me: Yes b'y, spot on.
fadder: School?
me: Goin'. You?
fadder: Swell. Kid?
me: Great.
fadder: Best kind.
me: Yep.
fadder: Be good now. Here's your mudder.

(Those are not spelling mistakes, I was trying to catch the dialect)