How many hot dogs does it take to....?

Growing up I lived in a home with my mother, father, three sisters, my grandmother and my grandfather.  Essentially, I had two sets of parents.  Which had some really, really, really good points.  That is, until I moved out of the house and realized that I had NO idea how to do any domestic chores - cooking, cleaning, laundry was always done for me.

The first time I cooked a turkey, I must have called home at least 3 times for help, and still managed to cook that bird with the bag of bits still inside it.    My raisin buns will never taste like my grandmother's.  My mom has a solution for just about everything.

About a year ago, I got a phone call from my father that went a little something like this:

me: "hello"
dad: "how many hot dogs does it take to make lasagna?"
me: ".????????"  stunned silence
dad: "how many hot dogs does it take to make lasagna?"
me "??????????" stunned silence


Translation:  my mother was visiting my sister in town, my father was hungry and home alone.  What he really wanted to know was how many times did me need to push the 'hot dog' button on the microwave in order to thaw and heat the frozen lasagna my mother had left for him.

I will never forgot how gobsmacked I was when I answered the phone.  Love you dad.



*** just a reminder, only a few days left to get your name into the draw for the Newfoundland Chocolates!  Click here for more info ***

Not today.

You know those mornings when you roll out of bed and you can just tell that its NOT going to be your day, but you just stumble forward anyway? Well forget it! I'm going back to bed!

Snack anyone?

I just walked into my kitchen to find my eleven year old daughter stuffing lettuce, roast beef, mayo, french fries and a toblerone bar into a pita. Suddenly I've lost my appetite.

Some Saturday it is!

I brought back an unusual gift with me from Newfoundland, from my beautiful nearly 3 year old niece (who I haven't seen since she was 8 months old) a flu! Not just any flu, oh no this one is a doozie, its viral tentacles have found their ways from my throat, into my ears, eyes and nose as well.

It’s been freakin’ hot around here since Tuesday, what with the fever and trying to get me baygirl body back used to the mainland temperatures. So. What did I do to escape the heat and get me arse out of bed for a while? I made more tea buns!

Yep, I stood in me kitchen baking tea buns, this time I even remembered to turn on the oven! Its some Saturday.

On a separate note, being sick does have its up side I've managed to read The Hunger Games trilogy since Tuesday! (What a great read, wish there was a forth book)

Newfoundland confessions

I don't know if its the salt air in my lungs, my family around, the fact that I haven't cooked since I got to Newfoundland, or just the shear pleasure of being home, but today I decided to dome something I haven't done in my 33 years! I made me some raisin tea buns.





I would like to take this opportunity, to make a confession... I DID have some help. Turns out that me mudder got a new stove since the last time I was here, and it also turns out that I do not know how to use the new one.

I followed the recipe to the letter, hit the timer and popped the buns in to cook. 10 minutes later my sister and her two kids arrive. "What are you at? You needs to turn ON the oven for stuff to cook."

20 minutes after me sister turned on the oven, they were cooked, and they were delish!

All I did was THINK about baking and look what happened!

A girl in my class gave me a recipe today, for what she is calling "the best chocolate banana bread ever", assuring me that there is no possible way I can mess it up if I follow the recipe and don't over beat anything. Since she was nice enough to hand write out the recipe on a pretty little card I told her I would try making it this weekend. So on the way home, I pull into the grocery shop and make sure I have everything I need.

I get home and....



the bananas have committed suicide! Just the thoughts of my baking with them, pushed them over the edge...

expired?

I have a question what month does MA stand for?


Hummmm... garbage maybe?

How does this happen OR another reason I shouldn't be allowed in the kitchen

Why is it that I can't accomplish the simpliest of tasks in the kitchen without something going wrong?

Honestly, how does this happen?

Domestic baking goddess I ain't!

Over the past weekend we played tourist and ended up buying a full flat (6 quarts) of strawberries. Now, I love strawberries but what was I thinking buying so many at once? Our friend took a quart when he was leaving, I've made strawberry spinach salad, I've been blending strawberries into my protein shakes, had strawberries in my cereal, strawberries, strawberries, strawberries.

So last night I went looking for recipes and I found some ideas that made me drool just reading them. Eventually I came across one for strawberry cupcakes with strawberry butter cream icing, ohhhh my taste buds were screaming. I printed the recipe and immediately began cutting and pureeing strawberries while husband was sent to the store for the items a non-baker lacks.

As I mixed and blended, I tried to ration with myself... I haven't had cake in over 2 years, these won't be cake they are mini cake so they will have less calories, I will spend an extra 10 minutes on the treadmill to make up for it. I can see the look of shock on the faces of my cooky classmates who regularly bring in freshly baked items from home to share, kiddo in awe of having cupcakes that don't come out of a box or from a store. I would be a cupcake goddess.

I popped my pinkish buddies in the oven and wished them well, that they would rise up beyond my expectations, while they baked I worked extra hard on the icing following the recipe to the letter, all the while being very strict and not sampling anything.

The cupcakes came out of the oven, and they looked a little 'small' but I didn't let it get me down. The icing was smelling great, and my stomach was now growling for a sample. No. I would stay strong.

Time to ice them, so I called the kid to take over. She heaped the icing on their tops and begged to lick the spoon when she was done. Still no taste testing on my behalf (yeah and nay at the same time).



Don't they look cute?

So this morning I get up, I pack a cupcake in kiddo's lunch, two in husband's and then I pile a bunch in a container to take to school. I strut into the lecture hall carrying my container of cupcakes high, proud of myself and awaiting the ohhhs and ahhhs that will surely follow.

I would like to take this opportunity to state that looks can be deceiving, smells can be deceiving, and classmates can be harsh.

My cute little muffins were a flop. Apparently there is something "wrong with my leavening agent" MY WHAT? (English please)... they didn't rise (I thought they looked small) and then there were a bunch of offers to come to my house and teach me to cook (one of which came from the guy in the class who eats ramen noodles 5 days a week). Its a good thing that I learned to laugh at myself years ago..

I get home from class today, walk into the kitchen and then I notice that the remaining cupcakes are nearly gone. Hummm is kiddo tossing them in the garbage? NOPE my kid is loving them, thinks they are some of the best cupcakes I have ever made.. that's it, I'm trying one, they're not awful, but a domestic baking goddess I am not! that's for sure.

Next week I plan to buy some cupcakes, bring them to class and say "just kidding".

--side note, my first cupcake in 2 years, and it was "not awful" yeah I'm a winner.