What died in here?!

The past few days it has gotten warmer again, the sun is shining, jackets have been replaced by hoodies, the snow is gone and the car hasn't been sleeping in the garage. This morning as I climbed into my car, I was assaulted by an unusual stench. My first thought was that husband had let one go, so I attempted to be a good wife, and didn't say anything, just nonchalantly rolled down the window and dropped him off at work.

With husband out of the vehicle, I rolled the windows back up and popped onto the highway. Well, b'y the jumpins, that smell was still there.

I hate the windows down on the highway, so it made for a rather interesting 25 minute commute. The whole while trying to figure out what had climbed in my car and passed away, not breath and watch where I was going at the same time.

I pulled into the school parking lot and debated if I really wanted to know what was lurking under the seats. I mustered up the courage to look, half expecting a green sandwich, instead I got..

A COFFEE MUG! Yep, one of my missing travel mugs. Seems 'someone' accidentally left something in the mug and hide it under the seat to grow mold. It was so vile that the lid was stuck on.

Now I'm not going to point fingers, or lay blame (because I'm trying to be a better wife for lent) but kiddo doesn't drink coffee, and I don't lose things.

cherries on top

Its Sunday morning.

The bathroom renovations are still underway. (unforeseen plumbing problem, unforeseen ceramic tile problem, me accidentally losing 2 hammers and my sanity)

The bulb in my 53" rear screen projection TV went out on Friday.

Kiddo accidentally bumped into a rather large potted plant sending it crashing to the floor, spilling its dirt all over the carpet the same day that my central vac hose refuses to suck.

I walk into the kitchen, husband is cooking a wonderful breakfast (sweet potato wedges, eggs, sausage and toast) and there is kiddo, sitting at the table scooping giant spoonfuls of jam onto her plant.

She has found my hidden jar of breakfast sanity; also known as sweet cherry jam, and is removing all the jam to get the full cherries for herself. She sees me and begins scooping the jam back into the bottle.

Is it too early to open a bottle of wine?

I'm blowing raspberries...

To the nasty _________ who cut in front of me in the Starbucks lineup today:

I would have planted one of my Nikes square in your behind had there not been so many eye witnesses. If you hadn't been so evily rude, I still would have wanted to kick you in the jeans because you got the last cranberry bliss bar, and because its EXAM WEEK and I am ready to pull me hair out from the stress, and because the next Starbucks is not on the way home, and a peppermint mocha is just not the same without one.

So there. pppfffttt (or whatever that noise is when I stick out my tongue)

its all about that he said she said

Ever have one of those days when everyone is getting on your nerves? Stop complaining! Show some respect, the world does not revolve around you. AND if you're going to shit behind me in class shut your gob about it, the world is not always fair, so put on your big kid underwear and deal with it!

That is my rant for today! Now I feel better... :)

I'm getting old OR what is wrong with people?

I think I'm getting a little to old for my class. I only have 10-12 years on the majority of the girls in my class, considering I was married with a child at their age, it feels like 20!

Today started off with Assessmants class, we are learning about knee conditions and special orthopaedic testing. So we do the neurological tests, and the ranges of motion, all is relatively quiet. We partner up and are going through the special tests and all you hear is "ow", from one of of the younger girls, mind you these tests are not supposed to be pain provoking, but, whatever.

After lunch, we have pathophysiology, we're doing psychiatric disorders. Same girl who was ow-ing this morning pipes up during each topic.. "I have that, oh I have that". Today, said girl diagnosed herself with chondromalacia patella, general anxiety disorder, depression and ADHD. WTF?

My clinical impression: a)hypochondriac or b)attention seeker.

Then during the drive home I hear the radio personalities talking about “The Human Centipede” written and directed by Dutch filmmaker Tom Six... here is the review:

Internationally respected Siamese twin surgeon Dr. Josef Heiter has a demented vision for mankind’s future existence. He wants to remove human beings’ kneecaps so they have to exist on all fours and then surgically graft them mouth-to-anus to form a centipede chain. When two stranded female Americans arrive at his luxury home-cum-hospital looking for help, his long-gestating plan swiftly moves into chilling action with a shocking force. Kidnapping a third Japanese male tourist he begins the tissue matches, teeth removal and buttock molding to create his triplet creature.

Yeah you just read that. Maybe sit back and think about it for a few minutes. Ass to mouth stuff going on here folks.

Either I'm getting old, or people are messed up!

Rant: unattended childern

I felt little guilty laughing at SOME of the signs posted below the first time I saw them, but seriously, how annoying is it when people leave their children unattended?

Husband, kiddo and I were out running errands. We were walking through the mall, and just outside the food court there were 2 Cretans running amuck, yelling, screaming, carrying on and climbing on the benches. The little buggers nearly tripped up an elderly man and I don't fully think it was an accident.

I’m not saying I'm for hover-parents, because that can be annoying too, but there is a difference between letting a child go free to discover their own world safely (emphasis on ’safely’) and being totally unaware of what your child is doing because the responsible (using this word lightly) person something more important to do, like I don't know gab on their call phone. Sometimes the line is very fine, but yeah, there is a difference. Don't even get me started about kids left unattended in a vehicle!



























Ok, prehaps that last one was a little harsh... or was it?